Pax Bane

Humming "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"

2009-09-17T19:35:19Z

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.

General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Fellow Writers, I am going, you should too!

2009-06-05T16:49:01Z

Dave is the absolute best. Many of you probably know him has David Farland, author of the best selling Rune Lords series. I know him as my buddy Dave. He is huge help to those who want to become professional writers. Those who are on his "Daily kick in the pants." already know his efforts to get you writing. Come join me at the Dallas event this october!

Bane

David Farland’s “Write that Novel!” Seminar

A two-day seminar for anyone who has ever wanted to write a novel or make a living as a writer.

What Will You Learn?
Topics include “How to Make a Living as a Writer,” “Why There Is No Recession for Writers,” “How to Get a Writer’s Education—Books, Writing Groups, Classes, and Seminars.” “Professional Help—Agents, Editors, and Publicists.” “’Finding’ Time to Write.” “Story Ideas—Where They Come From and How to Nurture Them.” “Character Development—from Angels to Demons, and more!” “Writing Your Novel—Promising Starts, Magnificent Middles, and Grand Finales.” “How to Submit Your Book to an Editor or Agent.” “Seven Steps for Marketing Your Novel.” “Taking a Novel to Film.” “Dealing with Criticism,” and much more…

When and Where Will the Seminar Be?
The seminar will be held on Saturday, October 10th from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm and Sunday, October 11th from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm.

We will meet at
Doubletree Hotel Dallas, Near the Galleria
4099 Valley View Lane,
Dallas, Texas 75244
Tel: 1-972-385-9000

Who Will Be Teaching?
Dave Wolverton/aka David Farland is a New York Times Bestselling author of science fiction, fantasy, historical and thriller novels. For nearly a decade he served as the coordinating judge for the one of the world’s largest writing competitions, where he led a talent hunt for promising new writers. He has taught creative writing at Brigham Young University, worked as a movie producer, as a videogame scripter, and as a fiction editor. Over the past twenty years, Dave had helped hundreds of authors get their first stories and novels published.

What Do I Need to Bring?
A course guidebook will be provided along with pens so that you can take additional notes—so you really won’t need a laptop or other expensive equipment. Snacks will be provided Friday evening and on Saturday. We will break for lunch from noon to 1:00 pm, so you may want to bring a sack lunch or plan on visiting a restaurant.

What it Costs and How to Register
The seminar costs $125. Register early, as space is limited. You can register online at http://davidfarland.zenfront.com/writing-workshops, or send a check to

Dave Wolverton
335 Rocket Bar Road
Saint George, UT 84790

Please provide:
• Your name, as you would like it to appear on your badge
• Phone number
• E-mail
• Areas of writing interest (YA, Thriller, Fantasy, etc.)
• Address

What Are People Saying?

Brandon Mull—Author of the New York Times bestselling Fablehaven
"Aside from being a talented writer, David Farland is an excellent writing teacher. Hearing him teach live and reading his written advice has helped me focus many of my own thoughts about the writing process.

Those who would like to learn more about the craft of writing would be wise to pay attention."

John Brown--Prize-winning author of Servant of a Dark God
"I first met Dave when I was in college. I was lost, wandering around in the literary bushes, and saw he was giving a writing workshop.

I'd read Dave's On My Way to Paradise and loved it, so I signed up. I learned more about story telling in that three-session workshop than I had in years of creative writing classes. Dave's instruction led directly to me writing a story that made the quarter finalist cut in the Writers of the Future contest--and then another that won a quarterly first prize (which also meant $2,000 in prize money plus a paid trip to Cocoa Beach, Florida where I got to see the space shuttle launch and participate in a week-long workshop with various writing professionals. Two years later I took Dave's novel-writing workshop which led to more critical insights.

Dave's instruction has been invaluable. It not only started me on the path to writing stories I cared about and believed in (and which editors were eager to buy), but it also helped me along the way to write the novel that landed me an agent and then a three-book contract with Tor."

Brandon Sanderson—Author of the Mistborn trilogy and upcoming A Memory of Light, book twelve in Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series

"I took David Wolverton's workshop when he was offering it as part of coursework at Brigham Young University. It was a low level creative writing class at the time, and I took it out of curiosity. That single semester's worth of teaching opened my eyes to publishing and taught me what it's really like to think like an author. I still use the writing techniques he discussed, and constantly reference him and his instruction when I teach creative writing myself. In addition, Dave taught me how to actually approach breaking into the business of writing. He proved through example that it IS possible to make a living as a writer, and showed me how to approach networking as a writer. His explanations led me directly to getting an agent and, subsequently, my first book deal."

I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...

2009-04-24T20:42:28Z

It smells like, victory!

Bane

March 17th

2009-03-17T16:35:15Z

Happy St Patrick's Day to all my friends out there...
I hope you all have a bit of pleasure and a few good reasons to smile today.

Sean Patrick Kelley

Last night was really good

2009-03-10T18:48:28Z

Last night I had dinner with an Dave Wolveton, old friend I have not seen in person in ages. I met Dave back in the mid 90s at Aggiecon and served as his guest host back when his career was just getting into stride. Over the next few years we hung out a few times at L Ron Hubbard "Writers of the Future" events and I always enjoyed his company. I got out of touch with him in the late 90s due to just not being as active in the writing community and not keeping up with what was going on. Over the years I would occasionally wonder how he was doing. So come forward to the future with me, about two years back I picked up a fantasy series called The Runelords by a writer named David Farland. I enjoyed it tremendously as its well written and has some very novel concepts in it that intrigued me. After a few of the novels I googled the book and lo and behold if David Farland is just a pseudonym of Dave Wolverton's. I was thrilled to see Dave doing so well and hunted down his email address to catch up. He was in town this week so we had a chance to catch up over a very late promised BBQ dinner at my house. It was just a really nice chance to catch up with someone whose company I enjoy.

A while back I joined his writing email list "Daily kick in the pants!"

www.runelords.com should have a link to it on the page.

I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in the profession of writing as a career or the art of writing a novel.

It has certainly encouraged me to think about my writing and getting it more in the fore front of my life.

Bane

Facebook

2009-02-25T20:53:41Z

I joined it, lets see if it picks up my LJ post as they claim.

Sean

Spring Cleaning of the friends list

2008-08-25T21:15:06Z

If you get removed and you care say so and I will add you back.

Bane

Happy Halloween 07 Pictures

2007-11-01T03:51:23Z

What is it about introspection?

2007-06-08T03:46:02Z

It hits me at the oddest moments...

Tonight I was sitting there waiting on my poor sick son to get to sleep. Poor guy has been sick with the crud and can hardly breath or get comfortable. At one point today he just crawled in my lap and started crying and looked at me and said, "I am having a bad day and it makes me sad." I think we should all live by 3yr old rules. We might get along better with each other if we were so willing to admit out faults. Shit... there I go again spelunking in my own mind.

I just had this realization while sitting there on a bean bag next to his bed that I cannot remember the last time I have meditated or performed any sort of mental house cleaning, much less spiritual. This all comes on the heels of me having gained back, over the last year a sizable portion of what I spent a year losing and a year keeping off. It was a sudden feeling like I am out of order or phase with my vision of myself. Its got me restless and frustrated, which has finally started the process over again. Stop with the crazy white mans refined sugar and get back to drinking the water. Its the first step in getting my body back in control, but damn if I am not dying for sugar. I can always tell when what I am doing is working because all other desires and wishes suddenly seem bland or unimportant, but the good old death grip on sugar remains.

So I have just hit a wall I think, or more to the point, I have hit a thinking wall, I find myself having a lot of internal dialog and sorting through feelings. People come into and out of focus in my memory like a multi layered slide under a microscope. Weird memories and odd snippets of pain from my past or a moment I wish that I could relive. All of this has me spinning like a top inside, both in a good and bad way.

Just a lot of things going through my head, and its probably time.

Bane

Its a big hair white trash wonder land!

2007-03-28T15:23:30Z

WOW!

http://www.rockfeverfest.com/

I am actually tempted to go, just because you know, there will be more mullet bearing, daisy duke sporting people than ever before in one place. It would be like a freaking social experiment!
Its like Burning man for Big hair Bubbas!

Bane

The Best Valentines gfit ever

2007-02-08T22:36:46Z

Michelle and I have agreed to give each other a dose or reality this Valentines. We are opting out. We always feel like its some lame contest where you give a limp wristed card and gift which are totally lacking in much in the way of merit.

As of yesterday we have decided we don't celebrate it anymore. Our gift to each other is the gift of peace and freedom from a ridiculous, contrived hallmark holiday that does nothing but support the overrated and magical thinking view of Romance in our society.

We both hedged and hemmed and hawed and when we finally came out and admitted we hated the holiday to each other it was enormously liberating. I suggest you and your SO sit down and try this too. Hopefully one of you isn't drinking the "consumer driven relationship" koolaid and you too can let go and join us in a calendar with one less meaningless hoop.

Bane

Silent Morning

2006-12-25T12:47:37Z

I am up before the kids, the house is dark and quiet. I am showered and dressed for the coming carnage with cameras and camcorders charged. Its nice to be the first one awake. I like the feeling of solitude. Its amazing that what seems lonely at night, feels comforting in the morning here in the house.

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Have a good day out there doing whatever you do on this day, for whatever reason. I will be in my home, surrounded by family. Perhaps its a bit late, but I feel very thankful for all of you who I can call friends, and on this morning so rich in materials traditions, that seems the biggest gift of all. That I can sit here alone at my desk, and yet so very blessed with so many close contacts out there only an electron away. Be good to yourself and those you meet today.

Bane
Dec 25, 2006

Today

2006-09-19T16:32:00Z

Today is my first pot of Chili for the coming Fall.
The windows are open.
I am done with my 2 hour call with the Dell EMEA team.
All my other meetings that would have happened today got canceled
Its talk like a pirate day
I am > < far from skipping around the house and singing

I love this time of year, I can just feel my whole concept of self waking up.

Bane

I love Austin

2006-08-07T02:57:43Z

I go into Guero's for dinner tonight with Michelle. Its a wonderful Mexican place. We have a few margaritas and look over. Who is sitting one table over frome me? Quinton Tarantino, drinking and eating with whom looked to be Robert Rodriguez and some gals. I fought down my inner fan boy to allow him his peace and enjoy his drinks and meals, but it was a real treat to easdrop on him telling stories and laughing. I love this town. The waitstaff says he has been coming in almost daily while in town. I wonder whats going on here he is in for?

Bane

This is quite kick ass

2006-01-10T20:36:52Z

My company is giving away this product free to individual users, see below. Its simply cool as hell.

Bane

Software Virtualization Solution 2.0 Will be Free for Personal Use

By now, you should all know this elevator pitch: Software Virtualization Solution (SVS) is a revolutionary approach to software management. By placing applications and data into managed units called Virtual Software Packages, Software Virtualization Solution allows you to instantly activate, deactivate or reset applications and to completely avoid conflicts between applications, without altering the base Windows installation.

Well, you're going to have help spreading the word. Lots of help! The whole world knows about SVS now that it is sharing the gold with Firefox in the 22nd Annual PC Magazine Technical Excellence Awards. And when SVS 2.0 is released later this quarter, Altiris will be making the SVS client (stand-alone) available Free for Personal Use via public download sites such as the Download.com network and Tucows.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1903598,00.asp

The purpose is to get every tech head who sells, supports, writes about or codes to Windows for a living, to know what we are doing, to get excited about it, and to carry that excitement to the Web and back into the workplace.

So keep an eye out. Get your own personal copy and use it. Join the revolution!

Also, remember to get Juiced! Altiris Juice is the new Altiris Web community, where you will find downloads, sample apps, best practices, tips and tricks, FAQ's and everything else relating to SVS.

For additional information, contact Scott Jones of the Altiris Product Management team. Excelsior!

A question of sorts

2005-10-03T18:26:52Z

For those music fans out there, if you had reccomend 5 albums that have come out in the last decade as your top 5 favorite of that time frame what would they be. Any genre or type, just curious what 5 makes your head spin when you play them since 95. I have been poking around looking at various groups and wondering what I have missed of real meat in the last few years. Surprise me.

Bane

Behold

2005-09-28T17:16:51Z

The fire power of this fully operation bacon station...

OINK OINK OINK!

Bane

For future reference

2005-09-06T14:37:32Z

Delsym, which is a wonderful cough syrup is nearly pure dextromorphan. When taken in large doses, even in error this can create a disassociative experience not unlike ketamine. When taken in excess in conjunction with bed time reading of Twisted Toyfaire collection 3, you should be prepared to spend most of the night having bad dreams about Mego headed super hero action figures trying to kill you. Dont belive you will be able to wake up, because you are quite drugged up at this point. Do be prepared to realize this in your addled state and be forced to accept you are party to some very creepy and repetive dreams for the next eon. Wake up feeling like you have been playing a reprise of Private Pile ala the "Soap wrapped in a towel" of Full metal jacket. Enjoy...

Bane

I can accept this

2005-08-29T21:30:32Z

Ingmar Bergman
Your film will be 54% romantic, 25% comedy, 55% complex plot, and a $ 52 million budget.

Your life will be portrayed on film as an intense psychological drama,
likely with some actresses screaming at the camera (Persona), or maybe
a pleasant chess game between the Grim Reaper and a Crusader (The
Seventh Seal). This Swedish director's films are intensely scrutinzed
and studied in colleges all over the world to this day. This means that
most Americans still don't understand his films! Still alive, he
released in the U.S. in 2005 his first film in 23 years (Saraband), and
he can still take on one more project to make your film biography. If
curious, start with his films Wild Strawberries and Smiles of a Summer
Night.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 54% on action-romance
You scored higher than 10% on humor
You scored higher than 91% on complexity
You scored higher than 91% on budget

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on Ok Cupid

Pork, the one you love...

2005-08-19T16:51:58Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet asteres? Via Cephied Variable at Texas A&M
2.~What would you do if you had never met mothoc? I would not have a "Nightmare before Christmas" original movie banner, oh yeah and a good friend.
3.~What do you honestly think of messyah? A prophet without a purpose minding time in life until the world changes to suit him.
4.~Would or did chimsparkle and count_gunthar go out? I dont think so, you cant normally mix differing fandom types with good results.
5.~Have you ever liked motorcyclemama? Since I had the honor of meeting her I have thought the world of her.
6.~If askesis died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? They represent proof to me of the potential goodness in mankind.
7.~Would sexluthor and sakuranbo make a good couple? The kids would look funky, but hell who knows. I imagine they might.
8.~Describe domingo in 3 words: Fucking Gobstopper Mongolian
9.~Do you think awamiba is hot? Indeed... but sadly that train left the station. Go Nick!
10.~Would askesis and ebony14 make a lovely couple? Like peanut butter and plutonium. I think it would be a bad sandwhich of love.
11.~What do you think of when you see count_gunthar? Shakespeare's Henry V
12.~Tell me something humiliating about sakuranbo: She almost made the mistake of dating me.
13.~Do you know any of bookpixie's family members? I dont, but I hear they grow veggies
14.~What's philosopher_bob's favorite color? Black, on black, with a helping of black. But hes not goth, hes just sort of into monotone colors I think.
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is philosopher_bob? Wrong plumbing to be sure here. I think he is pug ugly, but he seems to keep some nice looking ladies in his company.
16.~What would you do if sollitaire just professed their undying love for you? Probably faint.
17.~What language does chimsparkle speak? The language or love... or possibly swahili
18.~Who is mbak going out with? Endiron, what was she thinking?
19.~Is unkleneal a boy or a girl? He would be a pointer, not a sitter.
20.~Would bigbigtruck and sollitaire make a good couple? I think BBT would be all ooky about the whole kissing the coochie thing this would require.
21.~Who do you think blackpage would be great with from this list? Who hasnt he been with yet? Cripes!
22.~When was the last time you talked to awamiba? Lord... in person more than 5 years
23.~What is motorcyclemama's favorite band? I dont know, but I kind of see her as a Pat Benatar fan
24.~Does sexluthor have any siblings? I dont think so, his parents learned from their mistakes
25.~Would you ever date bookpixie? Sure, in fact I am married to her by proxie of my evil twin.
26.~Would you ever date domingo? No, he is much much to hairy for me. And the whole dick thing...
27.~Is blackpage single? Yes, no...repeat the question?
28.~What is philosopher_bob's last name? Robb like In the hood
29.~What is bigbigtruck's middle name? Spastic? I dont know actually.
30~What is messyah's fantasy? living forever
31.~Where does unkleneal live? North Austin... Land of beauty...mystery....cedar trees
32.~Would you make out with asteres? Male on Male... we have a scrubbed launch Nasa, weather reports sauage fest
33.~Are mothoc and bookpixie best friends? Dont even know each other
34.~Does domingo like philosopher_bob? Doubtful, probably just has a passing knowledge of him
35.~How did you meet bigbigtruck? Via Anime conventions
36.~Is awamiba older than you? No
37.~Is ebony14 the sexiest person alive? If you are into swarthy yet pale highly frenetic men who have a vast appreciation for jazz and roleplaying games, then yes.

Same house, more stuff in it

2005-08-18T21:37:20Z

Ch Ch Ch Changes....

2005-08-04T03:25:24Z

So whats going on in the Kelley house hold these days you ask? Well the big event is we have sold our house in Austin and we are moving a bit North to some new digs in Round Rock off 1431. The house plan is below. Its a rather beautiful home which I am honestly ready to be moved into.

I am sure we will have one hell of a house warming party some time in October.

Bane

Uff to Otah

2005-07-12T17:47:28Z

Well I am flying out this afternoon for another rousing round of business reviews in Provo tomorrow. Two days spent in a room with people who think caffeine is in general sort of a bad thing. Yes indeed, thank God Dunkin Donuts is on the way to the office so I can stop for a box of joe. If not my manager and I would be zombies the whole time. The good news is I get to go to this review the highest performing member of the team, so thats good. Timing could be better, there is a lot going on at Fort Kelley that I would like to be here for. Ah well, thats why they pay me the moderately large bucks. Have a good week everybody.

Bane

Why not, many good books have been written in prison

2005-06-28T19:42:41Z

I want anyone and everyone who reads this to post in here something they would LIKE to do with me SOMEDAY.
Then post this in your journal to find out what i want to do with you.

Bane

A couple of things

2005-06-28T19:41:40Z

Saturday of this weekend I went to San Antone to see Queensryche and Judas Preist in concert. It was a very good show and we had excellent tickets. I have never seen either band live and now that I have I am glad I went. Queensryche opened the show and what can I say, they are simply studio clear and precise live. Its a highly reccomend show even if there isnt a metal head bone in your body. I would go see them again live anytime. Judas Priest were very good, but it was a pretty mechanical performance. I guess 30 years of rocking sort of wears in a groove. It was what I expected from a heavy metal band. Very loud, barely legible screaming and roaring bass. I am glad I can say I have seem them live. I wouldnt jump through hoops to do that again.

The second thing is this. Some of you know this and other do not. I started a diet back at the end of April. As of last night I have lost 30 pounds. I am very happy about this. Its not where I need to be and I still have a long road ahead, but its a damn good start and I am pleased about it.

Bane